The Demon Within
by Andi-loves-SN
Summary: Season Two Finale AU: A vision of Dean's suicide leaves Sam reeling in confusion. Kidnapped by the YED Sam and Dean are forced to make a decision that could haunt the other for the rest of their life and when it's made one of them does the unthinkable.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke and the CW Network. No profit is being made in the telling of this story.

Readers Note: The Demon Within is an alternate take on the Season Two Finale, there will be absolutely NO Season Three content within these pages for those that have not yet seen Season Three. Also, this story will have intense angsty moments in which you may not kill me as a writer. laughs I seriously hope all of you enjoy this story, it is a chapter fic and will come in probably around 25-30 chapters. I'm not exactly positive where it is right now, but we'll all see as it goes. I'd love to hear what you think, but don't feel obligated to review. Each chapter will be between 4-6 pages long so they won't be very long so bare with me.

**THE DEMON WITHIN**

**_Chapter One: Deadly Images_**

"Sam," Dean says teeth clenched tightly together. The world is turned upside down in those few moments as Dean stares at Sam, his body shaking with the intensity of trying to keep control. Heart pounds loudly in his chest and for a second he wonders if the whole world hears it. When green orbs notice Sam's unmoving figure he screams again to him. "Run!"

Sam's head bolts up as he looks at his older brother. The sweat is pouring over him, dripping from his face, hair plastered to his head as he tries to comprehend what is happening around him. He's forgotten already. Pain…he remembers pain and then…hazel orbs wander over Dean. Something is definitely off, but Sam doesn't remember what and refuses to leave Dean behind. At this time Dean's eyes latch onto his and Sam's memory is jogged back to reality as he realizes he needs to run. It is too late as his body refuses to listen to him, the pain overwhelms him and then he feels his body slam back into the wall behind him, shattering the mirror beside him. Slivers of glass imbedding into his skin and he winces at the sharp pricks. He would collapse onto the floor if he weren't being held in place there.

Then the cold black eyes stare back at Sam with a satisfied look on the demon possessed face. Body moves forward, closer to Sam with ill intent written all over its face. This is too easy. All the hoopla about the Winchester's is a sad disappointment to the demon's efforts. Far too easy.

"What are you going to do without Daddy and your brother?" the demon mocks.

Sam fights to bring his body out away from the wall, but he doesn't have enough power to move, or maybe he hasn't harnessed it enough to use it. Either way he's stuck and the only thing he can do is stare into the demon's pupil-less eyes knowing that not only has he failed the woman they came there to save, but his brother. He fights back against the hopelessness as he glares at the demon coldly.

"Let them go!" Sam growls.

"No," the demon laughs.

"What do you want?" Sam shouts in anger as he becomes desperate eyes screaming with pain and confusion as they land on the woman pinned to the ceiling in a daze and then to his brother. This isn't happening…it can't be happening. It's only a dream he isn't pinned against a wall…his brother…his brother isn't…

"To see you in pain," the demon smirks interrupting the young Winchester's thoughts.

Sam feels a fire explode in his body and he cries out, body arching subtly against the wall, his closing in pain. The burning fire spreads quickly through his body and he feels like he is dying. The pain is unbearable and he has to force himself to look into the eyes of his brother, in hope that Dean could save the day once again, that he'd be able to help him and the woman as he always has.

"Dean…help her…" Sam musters as blood drips from his mouth, flesh still feeling as if it is on fire, brown orbs dart to the woman whose body is consumed in flames, her screams die off slowly.

"Sammy…" Dean says softly, pushing back the veil hovering over him, but it's too late. Dean's whole world falls apart as he watches Sammy go limp against the wall. "No…" the words leave Dean's mouth in a whisper. He is the one responsible for getting his brother into this mess. It is his fault all this is happening. It is his fault that Sammy is practically dying. Dean grasps the gun tightly in his hand and quickly puts it to his head. "I'm sorry Sammy," Dean whispers, eyes turn to the woman who is lit up in a fiery blaze, knowing he has failed her too. He closes his eyes and takes one last deep breath before pulling the trigger.

**Days Inn**

**Alamosa, CO**

Tall, strong frame tosses restlessly as a moan escaped, a groan that signified the intensity of the images. Body lurched, sweat dripped, and hair stuck to the face as hazel orbs traveled swiftly under the closed lids. The body seemed to shake as muscles contracted under the blue nightshirt. Everything seemed wrong, the air thick, the world slowed in the early morning. That is until the images died down as lids rapidly burst open, hazel orbs traveling around the room in panic as realization of location slammed into the mind of Sam Winchester.

Without a moment's hesitation Sam shot up in the bed. "Dean!" his voice reverberated around the quiet room. The sound of a low guttural moan drifted into his right ear and Sam looked over to the bed beside his. There his older brother's sleeping form still rested like it had two hours ago when Sam had tried to get some sleep. Heart rate slowed, lids blinked shut several times before a hand moved to wipe the sweat from the sides of his face. So it was a dream…or was it? He rubbed his temples as he looked at the clock. _5:25am_. Sam rolled his eyes as he collapsed back to the bed in exhaustion. This whole lack of sleep thing was definitely driving him up a wall very, very slowly, which in a way was a sort of torture. However, it didn't bother him this day as he ran over all the thoughts bombarding his brain, the images of what could only be the future, as it always was, the slow horror of the Yellow-Eyed Demon's plans.

_Dean dead! No it can't be._

_What am I missing?_

_Where were we?_

_We weren't here. I'd have recognized the hotel._

_Dean?_

_But how did he get that way?_

_Was it something I did?_

_When does it happen?_

The questions ran fast through Sam's mind as he tried to find a conclusion. He didn't bother trying to wake Dean, not when he didn't even know what was going on, besides as long as they were there Dean was safe. It was clear the vision was not pointing to where they were right that moment. It pointed to somewhere else, a place that Sam did not recognize from the images. But right now he had to figure out what was going on in his dream and not where it had been. He clearly remembered talking to Dean and a demon, but something was bothering him about the vision and yet he still couldn't put his finger on it.

_The woman…_Sam thought to himself, eyes sliding shut as he remembered her pain filled face, her burning flesh…she had wanted their help and all they had done was destroy her, they had gotten her killed. There was a war within himself in those moments. He wanted to tell Dean about the vision, to go and save the woman, but Dean…he'd lose his brother, the woman, and he himself might even die. It didn't look promising…if they stayed away they'd both be alive and the woman…a sigh escaped his lips…the woman would be dead. A hand rubbed hard over his face as he tried to comprehend what this meant. There was no possible way of saving them all, but if he…

"Geek boy you going to be up all night?" Dean asked nonchalantly from his side of the room interrupting the young man's thoughts of death, suicide, and sacrifice.

"Yeah. Just seeing what time it is," Sam lied as he stretched on the bed, faking a yawn. He knew that he would not fall asleep until he figured out a way to save everyone. He couldn't let this happen, he couldn't lose Dean, but he would never forgive himself for letting an innocent die by the Yellow-Eyed Demon because he didn't want to die. There had to be a way to save Dean…there had to be a way to save the woman. And still a part of him realized there was no choice…a part of him trying to recall what was bothering him about the dream, what had seemed so unfamiliar, so wrong, but it was a part of the vision that had been so unclear…so hard to see. It was something with Dean…what had been wrong with Dean? Had he been dying? Had he died? Why had he told him to run? Run from whom? And why wouldn't he go with him? The questions continued to bombard Sam's mind as he lay there, brown orbs moving in the sockets to glance at Dean and Sam couldn't help the tears that sprang to his eyes. He quickly wiped them away as he lay down staring up at the small designer holes in the ceiling tile.

* * *

Dean was awake…had been for awhile, the cry that had sounded from his brother's lips had stirred him, but he had kept quiet waiting for Sam to say something else, when nothing came he had assumed it was nothing more than a nightmare. A part of him knew that was wishful thinking, but he wasn't about to question Sam, not when he seemed so intent on ignoring the fact that he had called out, or that he had been talking in his sleep. Sam's restless sleep was enough to wake the dead…probably had in fact. Dean rolled his eyes at his brother's answer to his question. He knew very well that Sam probably hadn't slept at all that night, in fact as long as he'd been awake Sam had only slept an hour if that and Dean knew that what he'd been dreaming wasn't all candy canes and lollypops. Sam hadn't been sleeping well since their dad died, not that he'd ever slept well, but for a time he'd almost been normal. The thought overwhelmed Dean and he stared at the wall near him, eyes watered by unshed tears.

_Dad's dead._

_That stupid son of a bitch!_

_He's in hell because of me!_

_What fucking deal did he make?_

_Why did he make it?_

_I'm going to kill that demon if it's the last thing I do._

Dean clinched his hand into a fist in rage and anger as he tried to silently hold back the pain he was drowning in. He was so broken, but he had to be strong for Sammy. He had to keep his wits about him and make sure that Sam was taken care of, watched after, and protected. It was the last piece of his job left. His father was no longer around to take care of and now Dean made sure that he was always watching out for Sammy, making sure that what Dad had asked of him would never have to happen. Those days in the hospital after their dad's death was painful for not only Dean, but he could see it written all over Sam's face. He knew that Sam was dealing with the loss of their father hard as he was, but that was something he'd never admit to Sam. _What's dead should stay dead._ Dean thought to himself as he blinked his eyes, closing them hard against the unshed tears as the image of his father's lifeless body jerking up against the shock impulses of the defibrillator. The long wailing, high pitched beep was impeded in his memory and he knew he'd have the memory of that sound in his mind for the rest of his life.

Dean lay awake for the next two hours listening to his brother's breathing, knowing that Sammy was just as restless as he was. There was no movement from either though; it was their latest game. Who could play off being normal and unaffected by recent events more? It was a game Dean usually won, but recently he'd been sick of it. After Sam and Dean's fight while they were working the clown case had still been plaguing him. _I'm dealing with Dad's death! Are you?_ Those words played over and over again in his mind as he realized that he wasn't dealing…he could say he was, pretend that he was okay, that everything was all right, but Sam had been right. _You're on edge, you're erratic - except for when you're hunting, because then you're downright scary. You're tail spinning, man. And you refuse to talk about it and you won't let me help you_Dean had forced the words of his brother away from him, knowing that they had been difficult for Sam to say and most of all for the words Dean had forced out of him as they drove away later the next morning. _Sam. You and Dad... you're the most important people in my life. And now... I never should have come back, Sam. It wasn't natural. And now look what's come of it. I was dead. And I should have stayed dead. You wanted to know how I was feeling. Well, that's it. So tell me. What could you possibly say to make that all right? _As the sunlight drifted in through the window Dean heard his brother move carefully from the bed and head into the bathroom. Listening for the familiar sound of his brother's routine Dean smiled when he was met with the sound of the shower. _Maybe that will cheer the sasquatch up enough to talk to me._

Dean rolled out of the cheap hard motel bed and settled down in the chair near his own laptop, which he had basically given to Sam after the fire that destroyed all of Sam's belongings and of course took the life of his girlfriend, Jessica. They had been following a lead on the Demon for the last couple days. They had traveled rapidly through Oregon, California, Nevada, Colorado, and now on their way to New Mexico. Dean flipped the laptop up and waited patiently for the computer to log in. He ran a hand through his hair and yawned rather largely. A loud crashing sound came from the bathroom and Dean bolted from his seat.

"Sammy!" Dean said as he took off for the door.

"I'm fine," a voice called from the bathroom.

"What happened?" Dean asked as his worry began to subside, his head practically leaning against the door listening for any signs of trouble.

"Just slipped," Sam said.

"Smooth move, Exlax," Dean laughed in through the door before he returned to the seat in front of the laptop.

Sam laid his head against the cool bathroom wall. His head was throbbing as the images of Dean's death flashed through his mind again. He willed the vision away. Every time he saw it he felt his body freeze. He was beginning to believe that it would be impossible for him to stop this vision.

_No! I can't think like that. I'm going to stop this vision from coming true. I have to or…_

Sam didn't finish his thought as he felt the steaming hot water sting his back. He let the water wash away his fear and worries. He would be no use to Dean if he was acting the way he was. He needed to be calm right now that way he could think and act efficiently. There wasn't much time…there was never much time with his visions, but for the moment…everything was okay…everyone was still alive...

Sam felt the tear bead in his eyes, but he quickly ran his face under the shower water to keep it from forming completely. He wasn't about to let his eyes get red and puffy. Not now. Not when he had things to get done. And not when Dean would be grading him on his appearance when he got out. Somehow Dean was always so good at figuring out what was wrong with him…he always knew and if he came out with puffy eyes he'd be a dead giveaway.

"Dude, Sam!" Dean said loudly as he knocked on the door.

"What?" Sam asked in confusion.

"Dude you been in there for a half hour already. You may have long hair, but dude I know girls that take faster showers than that," Dean smirked.

"Give me a second," Sam said, a half smirk falling over his own face. At least Dean was cheerful this morning. That was good.

Dean shook his head at the door with a smile on his face, but deep down he was worried. Something was upsetting Sam, but he wasn't sure what and it didn't look like Sam was going to share with him. He shook his head as he moved back to sit down in the chair. His mind was racing with reasons at to why Sam would be so…standoffish. He'd had another vision…maybe, no…Sam would have told him if it had been a vision. He wouldn't hide that from Dean, not now when they were so close to finding the demon and sending him back to hell.

Sam exited the bathroom a few minutes later with a towel wrapped around his waist. A look of confusion was written across his face.

"Space boy what's going on?" Dean asked as he looked at his brother.

"Nothing," Sam said as he grabbed his duffle bag and started shifting through clothes.

"You sure?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," Sam said as he turned his face from Dean. He didn't want Dean to see the fear in his face. It was there; he knew it was. But if Dean saw it then he would force him to tell him what was going on and Sam wasn't sure he could recount the vision to him, not yet anyhow. Everything was far to fresh in his mind right now for him to even think about how to broach the subject with Dean. If only there was another way…if only he could solve this problem on his own than he wouldn't have to worry about telling Dean.

"Sam…" Dean started.

"I'm fine Dean," Sam snapped as he turned sharply to stare his brother down, the mask falling into place immediately, like it always had when he was lying to his brother or worried about something that he couldn't fix.

Dean sighed, but didn't push the matter further. He just frowned and headed into the bathroom to take his turn under the hot refreshing water, which wasn't so hot after Sam's long ass shower. He'd have to yell at Sam later for that.

Sam collapsed onto his bed as he watched his brother's frame disappear behind the closed door. His heavy head dropped into his hands and he tried to take a few deep breaths. The images flashed behind his closed lids and he felt his hands shake.

_How long do I have? I have to stop this!_

Sam bit his lip and jumped from his bed changing into clothes within seconds. He grabbed the laptop and sat down researching everything he could, but he didn't give far before he noticed the small closed window on the bottom of the screen. Brow furrowed, head cocked to the right as he looked at it, his hand almost shaking as he moved the pad of his finger over the mouse pad, clicking on the closed window. The moment the window popped up and loaded Sam knew what he was looking at…Dean's research, but that wasn't what had caused his mouth to drop open in utter fear…it was the fact that now he knew the answer to how long he had…and it wasn't looking good at all.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter Two: Ignored Warning_

Sam's mouth dried instantly, the world falling away from him as he stared at the screen, his eyes unblinking. Heart pounded hard in his chest, breath hitched in his throat as he tried to find where he was…what he was doing, his world spinning wildly out of control. The work Dean had done while he had been in the shower was amazing, much more than Dean usually did. The fact that he had tracked the demon so well meant only one thing…the demon was getting ready to strike again, which meant that his vision was that much closer to coming true. Sam just sat there and stared at the screen wishing and hoping that the information would change. This couldn't be right…all of this information…the crop failures, the electrical storms…this couldn't be right. They couldn't be within 50 miles of getting to this place…this couldn't be happening.

Sam had no idea how long he sat there just staring at the screen; everything seemed to have slowed down around him as he paned down the page of the Santa Fe newsletter. He was lost in this world of horror as he read, his mind playing back the images of Dean's death, of the woman burning on the ceiling and of his own slow torment. Sam jumped slightly when the bathroom door opened and Dean walked out already dressed and running a towel through his wet hair.

Dean stopped and frowned at Sam's pale face. He'd expected to come out and find Sam packed and ready to head down knowing he probably found the information he'd pulled up on the computer, but Sam wasn't packed, wasn't even moving and the look of death on his face was enough to scare the wits out of Michael Myers himself. Dean was pissed then in those moments; Sam was lying to him about something, avoiding the topic, refusing to tell him what the hell was going on. It was enough to drive an ordinary man insane, let alone an impatient one.

"That's it, what the hell is wrong?" Dean asked as he threw down the wet towel, it hit the wall with a loud splat as he tensed, eyes narrowing at his brother.

"We can't go," Sam said in a hoarse whisper, his eyes wide as he slowly met the gaze of his brother. He was too shocked to hide it from Dean, too afraid to hide it.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked as he relaxed, a sigh escaped his lips as he sat on the bed facing Sam. His brother had cracked and there wouldn't be a battle over the information.

Sam took a deep breath, his eyes flashing to the screen, memory replaying the images once again, before he closed his eyes briefly. Just long enough to get the images out of his head so he could open them and meet Dean's gaze. "We can't go to Santa Fe."

"Yeah caught that now would you stop beating around the bush Sammy. What the hell is going on with you?" Dean asked in annoyance. He was getting tired of Sam harboring every thing, getting tired of his brother always blaming himself for things that weren't his fault. There was little he could do to deal with it anymore and Sam's whole avoiding the question thing was grinding on Dean's nerves quickly.

Sam swallowed the moisture in his mouth and put his head in his hands, rubbing his face hard before facing his brother fully, the chair moving against the carpet as he tried to find the words he needed to say. It was hard for the youngest Winchester. He may have been the one that was most known for his "feelings" but Sam wasn't all touchy/feely, especially recently. It got him nowhere and it still didn't get him anywhere, especially with Dean. He had given up on that, well not completely, but enough that he wasn't going to push it.

"We can't go to Santa Fe. If we do you'll die," Sam said softly, even though he was facing Dean he couldn't look him in the eye, not with everything that he was about to tell him. This was one of the hardest things he had ever told his brother, far more difficult than he would have liked, but the vision…the vision was almost too much to bear and knowing that they'd have to go…to save that woman Sam knew he'd lose Dean…

Dean's stomach dropped. _What is Sam talking about? Me? Dead? How the hell am I supposed to die in Santa Fe? Unless of course we do find that yellow-eyed bastard! Do I get to at least kill that son of a bitch?_ The pit in his stomach wouldn't go away though even at his wandering thoughts of killing the demon. What else was Sam not telling him about this vision…was that what it was? Or was he just guessing? He sat in shock for a second or two, not letting Sam see the worry in his mind.

"You had a vision?" the words were strong…much stronger than Dean felt in that moment. The gruff, almost casual tone of his voice was enough to show that he was in no mood for games. Dean was serious in those moments; there was no smart-ass comment to fly from his lips, to roll of his tongue like it had lived there. No…all there was, was a cold dead seriousness that left no room for humor in those moments.

The question was almost rhetorical coming from Dean; hazel orbs founding Dean's. Sam knew he didn't have to confirm it, because Dean already knew. He couldn't find his voice in those moments so he nodded his head instead as he looked away from his brother, tears were brimming in his eyes, but he forced himself to not let them fall he didn't need to have Dean see how thoroughly this vision had scared him.

"And you didn't tell me earlier cause?" Dean asked his eyes narrowing.

Now that was not the question Sam was prepared to answer. So when his head shot up to look at his brother a look of confusion had fallen across it. He expected to hear a lot of crap from Dean, but him asking why Sam hadn't told him was something that Sam had never even processed as a question. It just seemed so obvious to him why he hadn't told his brother, but maybe it wasn't…or maybe Sam just assumed it was implied, but it wasn't obviously. Dean had no idea why Sam hadn't told him…so that left Sam with trying to figure out how to answer the question safely.

"I…I didn't know how," Sam stuttered.

"Well, I'm sure if you said, 'hey Dean, I had a vision and you died,' that would have worked just fine," Dean growled as he ran a hand over his face. He couldn't believe in those moments that Sam had actually kept something this important from him. He had died in one of Sam's visions., but how. What had happened? There had to have been a good reason for him dying, when was this, where was this, how long did they have? Questions…always more questions than before.

"Yeah because I really wanted to say that," Sam growled back and Dean rolled his eyes as he pushed the unanswered questions to the back of his mind.

"Well we need to deal with the demon," Dean said as long strong limbs moved from the bed, the mattress resetting to it's bodiless mass as Dean moved around the room grabbing up his duffle bag so he could start packing.

"Dean did you not hear me?" Sam asked as he stood, his brow furrowed and a million questions running through his mind as to why his brother was refusing to stay away from Santa Fe. Sam could not watch his brother die again and at that moment he didn't give one hoop or holler about that woman in his vision.

"Yeah I heard you, now start packing. If we hit the road now we can make it to Santa Fe in less than 2 hours," Dean said as he stuffed a few pieces of clothing in his bag, green orbs traveling around the room to find what else needed to be packed away into his duffle, his eyes purposely avoiding Sammy and the argument he knew would be following shortly.

"We're not going!" Sam exclaimed, one strong hand pointing downward as if he was their father and laying down the law for them to follow. It was a pathetic attempt in Dean's mind, but he wasn't going to say that. If Sam wanted to act like Dad in those moments he wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of responding to him in anyway other than putting him in his place.

"Sure we are Sammy," Dean said making sure to accent _Sammy_ to remind his brother just who was older. It was subtle, but Sam had caught it, the unmistakable hint of humor behind Dean's words, but not just humor…frustration. Dean was getting annoyed, which meant that Sam was gaining ground. That's what he had wanted…needed, someplace to dig his foot into so he could get a foothold large enough to maneuver in and he was closed enough now that he continued to push Dean, knowing that he was close to breaking.

"You're going to die!" Sam shouted almost at the top of his lungs. Brow was furrowed complete now, hands thrown out to his sides, as his frame hunched just a little as if he were the father standing over his son scolding him for doing something stupid, something dangerous. That's how he felt in that moment anyway, trying to keep Dean from committing suicide in two different ways now. This was a stupid idea and Dean knew it, but Sam couldn't figure out for the life of him why his brother was so intent on going, unless he truly did have a death wish.

Dean threw down his bag and faced his brother. His patience was finally reached with his brother and he just wanted to get on the road. This whole vision thing wasn't going to claim his life. He wasn't going to die. Not yet anyway. This was just some stupid vision of Sam's, not all of them came true anyhow. He hadn't killed that one kid in Oregon when Sam had had a vision of him doing it, they'd saved Max's step-mom that one time…so there were plenty of ways to get out of this, to avoid him dying so why was Sam so intent on not going?

"Sam…" The words were calm as if he were talking to a child, "If we don't go some woman might die. Do you want that on your conscience because I don't want to be responsible for some woman's death when we could stop it."

Sam looked away from Dean. He hadn't told him yet that a woman was going to die, because they couldn't save her. There was no way he could tell Dean about that, it would just make him want to go all the more and Sam couldn't handle that. Sam couldn't watch his brother die like that. He felt defeated in those moments, his shoulders sagged, his head bobbed to look down at the floor, hair obscuring his sad hazel orbs from his brother, as long arms hung by his sides. Dean was completely and utterly right about going…they had to save her, but still Sam worried more for his brother than for that woman, he always would. "If we go you die." The words were soft, calm, as if he was just 6 years old again following Dean around the junkyard at Bobby's.

_"What are you doing Dean?" the short limbs of the small 6 year old struggled to keep up with the long strides of the 10 year old. Shaggy dark brown hair falling over his face as a small hand pushed it away awkwardly as he jogged to keep up._

_"I'm helping Uncle Bobby, so just go back to the house before you hurt yourself."_

_"But I want to help."_

_"You can't help with this you're too young."_

_"But I want to help," the words were soft, calm as he stopped in his tracks looking at his brother with those eyes…those damn puppy-dog eyes that glistened when they were sad. It was the look Dean could never resist and the young man stopped and turned to look at his younger brother._

_"Fine, but don't get in the way."_

Now Sam was just hoping that he could once again convince his brother in the same manner. Hazel orbs rose to meet Dean's, showing the hint of weakness there as they glistened with fresh tears, but Dean wasn't having it today…or at least he didn't seem to be convinced. In truth Dean felt like his heart was breaking into a thousand pieces as he looked at his brother, the words that had come from Sam were getting to him, but he couldn't just let some woman die and besides how was he supposed to die anyhow? All Sam kept saying was he was going to die if they went, but how the hell was he going to die? This was just nonsense.

"How do I die?" Dean asked as he looked away from his brother, his tone trying to be hard and casual as if he weren't affected by what Sam was saying, but he failed…he knew he had. There was too much emotion behind his words…too much confusion, pain, and worst of all sadness.

Now this was a question Sam had been prepared for. He knew sooner or later his brother was going to ask him how he died that he was going to want to know, but Sam couldn't answer it. How was he supposed to tell Dean that he shot himself? That he was being tortured or at least Sam figured he was being tortured, was watching him die and then the woman they were trying to save die and he killed himself? That wasn't the easiest thing to say…ever. So Sam did the next best thing, he didn't say anything.

"God damn it, Sammy! Just tell me!" Dean yelled throwing out his hands in frustration, his whole body turning to glare at Sam. He wanted to keep him from Santa Fe, from dying, but Sam wasn't giving him any information on the vision he had. It was simply 'don't go, you'll die.' Well that was it. He wanted to know everything that Sam had seen and why the hell was he being so stubborn about telling him. So what he died, big deal, if he knew how it could be avoided, so why was he being stingy with information?

A sigh escaped cracked lips, a hand moving through hair, digits sliding through wet brown tresses, other hand sitting on his hip as he tried to think of a way to tell Dean. Why were things always so complicated? Or why did he feel like he had to walk on eggshells with this topic? Was it really something Dean would get angry about? Or was he just afraid that if he told him Dean wouldn't care, would be happy that he killed himself? Sam sighed again before he met his brother's gaze. "You killed yourself…" Sam said.

Dean's anger drained away in an instant and he started laughing. That was it? That was what had brought this whole argument on? He killed himself? Well that was stupid! He wasn't going to kill himself! What the hell kind of vision did Sam have?

"Dean this isn't funny," Sam said incredulously as he shook his head at Dean, brow furrowed once more.

"Dude, there's no way I'm going to kill myself, not unless it means taking this demon out with me," Dean laughed.

"I watched you do it!" Sam exclaimed.

"Well your Haley Joel thing is wrong. There's no way I'm doing it. What kind of vision did you have anyway?" Dean asked, a smirk still playing over his face.

Another question Sam wasn't ready to answer. He looked away from his brother once again as he finally took a seat on the bed, not saying anything. The vision flashed behind his eyes once again and he had to close his eyes to keep from falling into a depression.

"Sam what aren't you telling me?" Dean said again his voice serious now as his confused expression fell on Sam, who seemed to have lost his voice.

"You weren't the only one that died Dean…" Sam muttered as hazel orbs landed on the curtains where a line of bright light had penetrated through.

Now it was Dean's turn to be speechless as he stood there for a few seconds completely flabbergasted. What the hell was Sammy talking about? Who else died? He moved then when his brother didn't continue. He pulled the chair from the table and sat in front of his brother hands clasped as he leaned over his frame, elbows resting on his knees.

"I'll ask you once more Sam. What the hell did you see in your vision?" Dean asked, his voice was bordering on becoming dangerous.

Sam wanted to continue to avoid Dean's gaze, but he couldn't, not when he was sitting in front of him, so he did the next best thing and stared down at his hands as he tried to find the right words. Who was he kidding there weren't right words for this?

"The Yellow-Eyed Demon was there Dean. A woman…she died Dean and so did I, that's why you killed yourself," Sam muttered softly as he stared down at his hands, making it seem like he found them vastly entertaining.

Dean's hands clenched into separate fists as he glared at Sam. Holding back the fact that he was going to die was one thing, holding back the innocent life of a woman and his own death was something else entirely. He couldn't help himself as he got to his feet, the chair knocking backward, making Sam jump, eyes finally meeting Dean's dark angry green eyes.

"So you're saying if we go we all die, but if we don't go that woman still dies!" Dean growled. He wasn't so much angry at Sam, he was just angry at the situation. No matter what happened they would get the short end of the stick.

Sam only nodded at his brother as Dean began to pace angrily around the room. He was thinking things over, weighing their options, but no matter how much he wanted to stay away now, there was no way they could leave a woman to die. He'd just have to make sure Sam wasn't around, tie him to his bed or something. There was no way he could lose his little brother. He stopped finally and looked over at Sam.

"Come on. We don't have much time. Let's get going," Dean said as he grabbed up his bag and headed out the door, not even giving his brother a second glance.

Sam's head shot up as he watched his brother head out the door and he followed quickly after, his whole body shaking with anger at Dean's decision, because in a way he knew that he couldn't stop him…not now. Dean was intent on going and there wasn't anyway to talk him out of it, but that didn't mean Sam was going to give up.

"No!" Sam exclaimed as he watched his brother open the trunk of the black classic 1969 Chevy Impala. Dean seemed to be content on ignoring Sam even with the few observers that had looked up from their smoking positions outside.

"Come on Sam," Dean growled in a low voice as he moved back inside, Sam following after him still. "We've stopped your visions before, besides if we don't go that woman will die anyways! At least by knowing your vision we can stop it from happening."

"Don't you understand!? You're going to die if we go!" Sam exclaimed angrily.

"No Sammy I do understand. But we can't run! We run and someone else dies! Our job is to kill everything evil and save people doing it. We run and we let the demon win. That demon killed Mom, Dad, and your girlfriend! How many innocents are going to have to die for you to understand that! You want to run away so it can destroy someone else's family? I don't think so Sam. I'm going. With or without you," Dean said intensely as he slid his .45 in the back of his jeans and pulled his father's old jacket on.

Sam let the words sink in, his heart clenching in pain. He knew Dean was right. Someone else would die if they didn't go. But he also knew that Dean would die and he, himself, would as well, but that woman…she couldn't die because Sam was afraid for Dean and himself. They were the only ones that could help her, which meant they had to go. Sam let out his breath and looked at his brother, the dull light of the early morning blinding him briefly as his eyes passed over the sun that filtered in through the still open door.

"Fine, but you have to promise me something," Sam said.

"What?" Dean asked.

"You have to promise that if things start falling apart we leave. We forget about saving people and we forget about the demon and we just get the hell out of there," Sam said.

Dean smirked at his brother. "Fine."

Sam nodded and turned back to his clothes, which he hadn't stuffed back into his bag yet. He sighed again…this was not what he wanted, but he at least got Dean to promise something. He tried not to think about it as he rounded up his belongings all the while the feeling of dread swam over him and through him.

Within seconds it seemed Sam had his stuff loaded in the car and they were pulling out of the cheap hotel. Dean's hands were tapping along to AC/DC as Sam sat in the passenger seat losing himself in thoughts, his fists clenched tightly as he felt the fear swim over him.

**Meanwhile, somewhere in Santa Fe**

The dark room was lit with only a small lamp that sat on the desk. The man's formed was hunched over something, listening intently to whatever it was that had caught his attention. "They're coming," a woman said, the voice was cold and yet strangely full of joy at the ability to tell the news to the man whose face she could not see. His form straightened in the chair and he turned slowly, the light glinting off a shaven head, strong limbs stood and she thought she caught a hint of a smile spreading over his features.

"Good," the man replied in a deep gruff voice as the light flickered out, but not before the woman caught sight of the yellow eyes that occupied his strong defined features, the smirk on his face frightening as his eyes seemed to sparkle with joy and revenge. "Let the games begin."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: For anyone interested in this story...it has been a long time since I've updated. Hopefully I'll be better about it. I have about eight more chapters written...if not more. So hopefully I'll be able to put up a new chapter every few days or every week. I hope you enjoy the third chapter.

Chapter Three: Not Again

Sam felt Dean's hand on his shoulder and he quickly jolted from the cold dreamless sleep. His eyes gazed around him in a hurry as he tried to comprehend his surroundings. It was bright out and the light hurt his eyes. Hazel orbs traveled quickly taking in everything that he could as he pinpointed his location. "We're there?" the question rolled off his tongue as if he didn't need the answer. Sam turned to look at Dean as he felt his whole body begin to pull him out of the place.

"Yeah, come on let's check in to the motel and get some sleep before it's too late in the day," Dean said as he patted Sam lovingly on the shoulder. He knew just how tired his brother was and after a long few hours of driving he was eager to get to rest himself, especially since they'd been delayed by the accident that caused them a four hour detour and one that was evident on the Impala's surface, mud caked the sides, and dirt was stuck in the treading of the wheels. The sun was high in the sky, beating down upon them as if in warning for the day to come.

Sam nodded as he yawned. The short nap had made him more exhausted than he was before. However, the vision plagued at his insides and he found himself becoming more conscious by the second. He stepped out of the car and avoided Dean's eyes. He didn't want his brother to know how worried he was about this vision. How worried he was for Dean's life.

"Yo Sammy, you awake over there?" Dean called as he snapped his fingers at his brother.

Sam shook his head startled by the sudden voice that penetrated his thoughts.

"Yeah," Sam said as he quickly grabbed up his bag and shut the door of the Impala.

Dean frowned before shutting his own door. He knew why his brother had suddenly become a space case. He knew that the vision was bothering Sam as much as it was bothering him. While Sam had slept in the car Dean had done nothing but think about it. His own mind trying to rationalize what exactly was going on. He frowned and bit the inside of his cheek as he forced his face into a normal expression. He wasn't about to let Sammy see him worried. Maybe it had only been a dream after all.

Dean took off into the small office that sat in the center of the motel. It wasn't the cleanest looking place they had stayed in, but it would do for now. Besides they couldn't really afford to be picky right now. There were things that needed done. One was to find the woman that was going to be the next target of this demon.

Sam's apprehension about coming to Santa Fe was skyrocketing. His eyes tore around the place quickly as he followed his brother into the office. The manager looked up rather unenthusiastically. Sam was sure he didn't really care at all whether someone had walked in or not. It was all the same to him. Someone walks in the door, stand up, and wait for them to do their business, before sitting back down and getting lost in the book you were reading before. He knew the type. Heck in a way he wish at that moment he was one of those types. Anything to keep Dean away from the demon, away from death.

Dean moved to the counter and nodded at the man. "Double, two nights," Dean said as he dropped his new credit card down on the desk.

The man picked it up and looked at the name. "Can I see some ID Mr. Lancaster?" he asked nonchalantly as he looked back up at Dean.

Dean nodded and pulled his wallet back out and opened it up. A fake ID showed Dean's new alias, George Lancaster. The man looked over the ID before nodding and running the credit card through.

A few minutes later Dean and Sam were settled onto the beds in the small motel room. Both were turned away from the other staring at the wall. Dean's thoughts were running a mile a minute, wondering if this was going to be his last day. Sam wondered whether he could save his brother from the fate. Neither realized when they fell asleep.

_A fire explodes in Sam's body and he cries out, body arching subtly against the wall, his whole frame in pain. The burning fire spreads quickly through his body and he feels like he is dying. The pain is unbearable and he has to force himself to look into the eyes of his brother, in hope that Dean could save the day once again, that he'd be able to help him and the woman as he always has._

_"Dean…help her…" Sam musters as blood drips from his mouth, flesh still feeling as if it is on fire, hazel orbs dart to the woman whose body is consumed in flames, her screams dying off slowly._

"_Sammy…" Dean says softly, pushing back the veil hovering over him, but it's too late. Dean's whole world falls apart as he watches Sammy go limp against the wall. "No…" the words leave Dean's mouth in a whisper. He is the one responsible for getting his brother into this mess. It is his fault all this is happening. It is his fault that Sammy is practically dying. Dean grasps the gun tightly in his hand and quickly puts it to his head. "I'm sorry Sammy," Dean whispers, eyes turn to the woman who is lit up in a fiery blaze, knowing he has failed her too. He closes his eyes and takes one last deep breath before pulling the trigger._

_Sam's unconscious form slowly stirs at the sound and Sam sees his brother's body, the blood draining from his head. The tears sting his eyes and he pushes against the power holding him, trying to get to his brother._

"_It's no use, he's already dead," the yellow-eyed demon smirks._

"_I'll kill you!" Sam shouts._

_The demon laughs. "You have to wake up first to do that."_

"Sammy!" Dean exclaimed, his whole body jerking awake at the sound of his brother's desperate cries. Green orbs settled on the still sleeping figure, but Sam was tossing and turning trying to claw his way out of whatever nightmare he was having. Dean had seen this before, just after Jess had been killed. He wasn't going to let his brother suffer…not like this. He quickly pulled aside the covers and rushed to his brother's side grabbed his shoulders, and shook him hard to wake him up.

Sam's whole body jerked upward as he woke. Sweat drenched every inch of him, his shaggy hair plastered to his face and head, eyes wild. He tried searching for anything familiar to hold on to and finally settled on Dean's face as he tried to will himself to remember where he was. They were safe. They weren't in the demons hands, not yet anyway. Gradually his erratic breathing slowed and he finally found the strength to knock Dean's hands away from his shoulders before the pressure started in his head, the stabbing pain of the migraine moving in fast.

"Sammy, you all right?" Dean asked worry plainly written all over his face and body.

Sam tried to steady his shaking hands, tried to squint past the pain to look at his brother. He couldn't believe it. Yet the image of the second part of his vision burned in his mind. The words of the demon haunting him. Things were not going well and on top of it all the demon had somehow gotten into his mind…had known that he would have a vision about that moment.

"He knew…" Sam said, his whole face falling, showing the fear that he felt.

"What? He who? Knew what?" Dean asked as he put his hand back on Sam's shoulder, not just to comfort Sam, but to reassure himself that Sam was still there, that this wasn't just a nightmare.

"He knew I was asleep," Sam said as if that explained everything.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean asked. "Did you have another vision?"

"No…well yes," Sam said in confusion.

Dean looked at him with worry before turning his eyes to look at the clock the time blaring 12:00, and then flickered them back to rest on Sam. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It was the same vision I had before, well sort of. It started later…in a different place, but it went further than before and the demon. The Demon, Dean. It was there. Taunting me. It told me I had to wake up. It knew I was sleeping," Sam said incredulously.

Dean held back the fear that swam over him. _Maybe Sammy's right about this one. Maybe we should high tail it out of Dodge. _Dean felt the thoughts whirl around his head at a million miles per hour. He wanted to save himself, but somewhere deep inside he couldn't let someone else die for him. He had had enough people do that already he couldn't let another family lose someone they love just so he could live. It would kill him if he let that happen. However, he felt like they were being led into a trap. A trap that they would never get out of. Dean bit at his bottom lip as he stood up and moved away from Sam.

"Dean," Sam said in annoyance and anxiety as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.

Dean brought his head out of the clouds and turned to face Sam completely. Sam looked anxiously at Dean and hoped that he was reconsidering staying Santa Fe, that maybe he was willing to just leave this once. They both knew they couldn't save everyone…they tried, but they had yet to succeed. Who's to say that right then…this woman wasn't meant to die. It was a horrible though and Sam was ashamed to even have it cross his mind, but he didn't want to lose his brother. He couldn't be the only Winchester left standing.

"What do you want to do?" Dean asked his face unreadable. He needed to hear what Sam wanted to do, had to see what his brother's opinion was. It wasn't like Dean didn't have his own opinion. He knew what they needed to do, but he had to be sure that Sam was with him…or at least see where his thoughts had gone.

"Wh…what?" Sam asked, thrown off guard by the simple question.

"What do you want to do?" Dean repeated with a little more fervor in his voice.

"I think we should go," Sam said.

"Is this just about me dying?"

"Dean, I can't lose you?"

Dean sighed. "Understand this Sam. If we leave now then someone else will die in my place. I can't live with that, Man. I can't let someone else sacrifice him or herself for me, not again. I just can't," Dean said.

Sam felt the tear at his heart from his brother's honesty. He took a deep breath. "But I can't lose you…I can't. I want to kill this demon more than anyone, but I don't want you to die," Sam said.

"You remember what I told you as a kid?" Dean asked with a smirk.

Sam cocked his head in confusion. "Huh?"

"I told you long ago that you'd never lose me, because I wasn't about to leave your ass alone. And trust me man, I'll haunt your ass if I die," Dean grinned.

A small smile tugged at Sam's lips as he looked down at the floor. He knew his brother was right. They couldn't turn their backs on someone that needed them. He sighed. "I don't like this Dean," he finally said.

"I don't either Sammy, but there's nothing we can do about it. We have to do our job. But trust me if things get fishy we'll high tail it out of here got it?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," Sam said as he nodded.

"Let's get around then. It's still early in the afternoon. We'll start asking around. We'll have to check birth records. It's going to be a bitch of a day," Dean said.

Sam nodded as he moved to his bag and got ready, fear and doubt eating at his conscience.

**Seven and a Half Hours Later**

Dean pulled the car to a stop outside the diner. Sam stacked the papers together and stifled a yawn as he got out of the car. Dean stretched outside the car as he nodded toward the diner and Sam followed Dean inside without a word. They'd had a long day of research and it wasn't done yet. It was nearly eight at night now and they still weren't any closer to finding where the demon was going to be.

The waiter guided them to a table and gave them both a menu before heading off to continue his job. Sam pulled the paper out immediately and began leafing through it handing half to Dean. He began reading over every name on the list trying to find any name that might stick out in his mind. They'd been staring at names all day and so far no one had stuck out in Sam's mind…or Dean's for that matter. Time was steadily running out and they weren't any closer to finding the woman that the demon had come fore.

After several minutes Dean sighed in frustration. Digits released the paper in annoyance as his attention turned to the menu that hung open beside him. He couldn't concentrate on reading anymore…the names were starting to run together and he was pretty sure he'd read the same row of names at least seven times now and yet he still couldn't remember even one of the names in that row. How much longer did they have left? Was she even listed in these papers? He was beginning to doubt that.

"Dean this is useless," Sam groaned as he threw the papers down not even a minute after Dean had.

"We gotta keep trying Sammy," Dean said even though he had just been thinking himself how useless the whole game plan was. There were just too many people, too many days. They had no idea when the demon was going to strike or if he even was.

Sam nodded but sighed anyway. "This is just ridiculous. There's no way we're going to find out which woman is going to die by going through this list. How are we going to stake out all these places and figure out which one it is?" Sam asked as he rubbed his face with his hands.

"We'll figure it out. We can't just give up."

"Yeah I know."

"Just do your Nostradamus thing and figure out which one it is," Dean said.

Sam narrowed his eyes at his brother and glared. "Dean you know that's…" Sam drifted off as he picked up a new piece of paper. He felt the pressure in his head. The fiery pain began and he clutched his head.

Dean reacted immediately. He grabbed his brother's shoulders from across the small table and held him up trying to keep him from falling over. People all through the small restaurant began to turn and look at the sudden movement of the two brothers. Dean dug into his pocket with one hand and dropped some money on the table, before throwing the papers into Sam's bag. His one hand continued to hold up his brother as Sam began to groan with the pressure that was raging through his head.

"Dean…" Sam said softly as his hands pressed to his head. The pain was incredible, but the vision wasn't coming. The pain overwhelmed him and he felt his mind slip away as blackness exploded across his vision, bringing with it nothing but numbness.

"Sammy!" Dean exclaimed as he tried to hide the worry that ran through him as he hoisted his brother up from the table and half carried, half dragged him out of the restaurant in a lousy interpretation of a fireman's carry. He ignored the stares of the people around him as not one of them offered to help him or see what was wrong.

It was awkward enough trying to get out the door, but the real challenge came to when Dean found his way to his car. Sam was just deadweight in his arms and there wasn't anyway he could get the keys out of his pocket without jostling his brother. Dean finally decided it was best to lean Sam up against the Impala while he dug for his keys. He was half tempted to just drive to the hospital, but he knew that wasn't going to work. The brothers were wanted men and there was no way they could safely show up in a hospital at that moment…so Dean placed one hand under his brothers arm, half pinning, half holding him up against the car while he opened the back passenger side door. Sam's body began to slide to the right and Dean had to drop his keys to grab Sam before he crashed to the ground. "Sammy, come on! Wake up!" Dean exclaimed as he slapped his brother's face a couple times, still awkwardly trying to keep him from meeting the ground.

The worry that was running through Dean skyrocketed at Sam's lack of response. Sam didn't react at all other than the rapid movement of his eyes behind the lids, as if he was in a deep sleep. Dean held his brother up as he awkwardly placed his brother in the back seat, not even acknowledging the fact that his brother was larger and taller than him. He was so worried right then that his body had produced enough adrenalin to move anything or anyone, especially his baby brother. There was only one thought running through his mind and that was to get to the motel and save Sam.

Sam fought against the darkness. "Where am I?" he said out loud. "Dean?" Sam turned around. His eyes found nothing but darkness. Digits reached out to feel around, but nothing touched his fingers. It was like he was in a deep abyss surrounded by nothing. He was lost in a cold dark place, his brother no where to be found, and an unsettling darkness wormed it's way into his body.

"It's time. You know what to do," a cold deep voice rang out in the darkness. It echoed around Sam like he was in a cavern. Sam couldn't pin point where the voice had come from and that sent a chill down his spine.

"Yes, master," a dark, yet shrill, voice responded.

Sam turned in circles trying to find the voices as they echoed around him, goose pimples breaking out across his flesh as his breath caught in his throat. A terrible feeling came over him and Sam knew he was in danger. This was the beginning of the end…of that he was sure. He knew the voices weren't there to help him…knew that they were there to harm him, but he still couldn't help himself from needing to say something…anything to keep him from feeling so utterly alone.

"Hello?" Sam called, hazel orbs shifting around him, trying to make out any sort of shape or shadow, but there were only shadows around him, engulfing him in a sea of pitch black. His hands revolving around him as they tried to find anything to touch…to hold on to, to tell him where he was, but they met only cool dark air.

"Welcome to my nightmare Samuel…" the deep voice rang out as a frightening laugh followed.


End file.
